Having aging parents is not for sissies

So, Rochester and family. A couple months ago, people started talking Amos family reunion in August. The date got set for the 5th, I got my ticket for the 3rd – 9th.

Saturday, July 2, Dad went into the hospital with very high blood pressure. They did tests and a CAT scan seemed to show blood leaking in his brain. He’s been on Coumadin, a blood thinner, for heart condition for a few years now. Well, he stabilized pretty quickly. But, alone at home, Mom got extremely disoriented. I guess on Sunday morning she ended up calling brother Greg, who also lives in the Rochester area, asking “where are all the people who live here?” Greg scooped her up & took her to his house. She has as-yet-not-really-diagnosed failing memory symptoms.

Dad was in the hospital until Friday the 7th. Meanwhile, sister-in-law Andrea’s been working the phones. The hospital would not discharge Dad home, as he’s primary care for Mom. So, the veil of bluff and good show that the parents put up has finally been pierced, and this is a good thing. They were struggling along probably not realizing how much work taking care of the house has gotten to be, as it’s happened gradually. But they were also moving so slowly it was glacial in trying to find another place to live. Not asking for any help, of course. So Dad was discharged to an assisted living facility and with a walker which he’s now using. (From the bruises on his elbows & knees, he’s been falling down a lot.) Mom has been admitted too as her memory is much better when they’re together. This stay in the facility may just be temporary as Dad recovers. I’m not so secretly hoping that they will like the break from chores and climbing the stairs in their 3-level house (with the washing machine in the basement, notice I didn’t say dryer, they’re still hanging wet clothes on clotheslines) that they will either stay where they are, or get very serious & speedy about finding a place to their liking.

Meanwhile us kids are doing as much research as we can. Hopefully when we go back in August, we can make progress to getting them in a better place before the winter hits! Last winter, Dad was climbing a ladder to scoop the snow out of the gutters on the roof. “Want some help with that?” “Oh no, I’m fine.” “Pay someone to do that? “Oh, no, I can do it.”

And, this week Andrea has been going to Mom’s doctor visits with her. Due to lack of response from the previous doc, the folks switched to new doctors a couple months ago. Now the new docs are getting the full story, because the folks don’t like to talk about themselves and even if a shark was at that very moment biting their leg off they’d say “I’m fine” if asked how they are by the doctor. But with Andrea there to fill in the complete story, Mom is already off 3 meds that the new doc deemed not necessary. Plus, Mom’s blood pressure is very low. Funny, she’s been on high-blood pressure meds since she was in her 40s. She’s lost maybe 30 pounds over the last 3 years, but the previous doc never changed her medication. Maybe some of her memory problems are overmedication, we can only hope.

More as it evolves! Anyone with advice or who's been through this, I would love help. Email me!